Countdown to Kickoff Day 81: Ty McCullouch

Ty McCullouch • Wide Receiver • Sophomore • Moreno Valley, CA

So far: McCullouch was one of the highest rated recruits in CSU’s 2019 class, choosing the Rams over offers from Cal, Boise State, and Hawaii. He played in seven games as a true freshman and totaled three catches for 54 yards in seven games.

His high school photo made it look like he played for Ohio State, so subconsciously I will always irrationally overrate him.

Coming up: McCullouch’s 2020 output is probably dependent on how adventurous Coach Lynch and Coach Addazio want to be on offense. Two tight ends and pound the ball? Not great for Ty. Spread out the offense and throw it? No reason McCullouch wouldn’t be able to compete for playing time in that scenario. He’s an Ohio State transfer for god’s sake.

Brewery nearest to Moreno Valley, California: Euryale Brewing Company

The brewery was originally named Medusa Head’s Brewing, but another brewery already had that name, so they named the brewery after Medusa’s sister Euryale. This is a true story.

Lowest Yelp Review for Euryale Brewing:

I love using ALL-CAPS to show emphasis. And I really love how Deonte G. used them to let us know that he USED A GROUPON!

Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #50
2015 Nevada, The Travesty Bowl

  • Final Score: Colorado State 23, Nevada 28
  • Line: Colorado State -3
  • Venue: Arizona Stadium

I can never truly illustrate to my non-CSU friends just what a unique experience it is to be a Ram fan. Has your team ever been selected to a bowl game with no TV deal? Against a conference opponent? Had the commissioner of your conference call it a travesty? Welcome to the world of the CSU Rams.

This all started when the NCAA allowed 5-7 teams to go to bowls, but didn’t put in any rules about what order they can be selected. So the good people at the Foster Farms Bowl invited a 5-7 Nebraska team to play 8-4 UCLA, which caused a domino effect that led to two Mountain West teams facing off in the Travesty Bowl.

San Diego State also got boned that year. They won the conference championship, but for some reason the Mountain West gave up our spot in the Vegas Bowl to BYU (why the hell would we do that) so SDSU got to travel to Hawaii to play a 7-4 Cincinnati team. Congrats on your championship Aztecs! Hope you didn’t have any plans for Christmas!

What should have happened is: SDSU vs UCLA in the Foster Farms Bowl (instead of 5-7 Nebraska), Boise State vs Cincinnati in the Hawaii Bowl, Colorado State vs Northern Illinois in the Poinsettia Bowl, Nevada vs some 5-7 team in the Arizona Bowl.

But that didn’t happen, so we head down to Tucson. The weather for that weekend was unseasonably cold, because of course it was. The bars around the Arizona campus were empty because the students were away for winter break. The only area worth visiting was some trendy downtown district with overpriced drinks and 15-minute waits to get a table.

After watching Air Force get pounded by Cal in the Armed Forces Bowl, we headed over to campus to check out the pre-game festivities. (This also marked the first time I used that newfangled technology called “Uber”.) We walked over to the CSU alumni tent and saw the usual suspects. Up to this point, we hadn’t seen one Nevada fan the entire weekend.

We happened to run into the lady who was running the Arizona Bowl and asked her where the Nevada alumni event was. She said that they didn’t even bother to organize one. The CSU fan base has a long way to go, but this is the kind of shit we’re competing with. We should be dominating schools like this, it is mildly infuriating.

The game was televised on something called the American Sports Network.

American Sports Network - Wikipedia

I’m not sure what that is, but I think it’s the network that Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy just got in trouble for supporting.

The game was the typical Mike Bobo Cocktail of shitty special teams (Nevada kickoff return for touchdown), big plays given up by the defense (77 yard touchdown run), and mind-numbing boners by the offense:

(They would get zero points out of this drive.)

There were some good plays though. Let’s reminisce about the majesty of Hollywood Higgins in the open field:

(I can’t believe this guy is going to waste his career with the Cleveland Browns. Makes me irrationally angry.)

Lets watch Nolan Peralta delete some dude in the hole and send him to the netherworld:

Fast forward to the beginning of the 4th quarter, 3rd-and-1 from the Nevada 37. Dawkins runs for a first down, but Fred Zerblis gets call for holding. 3rd-and-11 now, Coach Bobo and our $500,000 offensive coordinator take their sweet ass time getting the play in and burn a timeout. (I’M SURE WE’RE NOT GOING TO NEED THAT LATER! IT’S NOT LIKE WE HAVE A GROUPON FOR ANOTHER!) The 3rd-and-11 play doesn’t work due to our inability to block Ian Seau and the Rams punt.

Fast forward to later in the 4th, Rams up one but Nevada driving deep into Ram territory. Rams burn the rest of their timeouts on defense. Their goal was to hold Nevada to a field goal and get the ball back, down by 2, with 30 to 40 seconds left. (Maybe just let Nevada score and save your timeouts? I do it on Madden all the time.) Instead Nevada scored a touchdown on 3rd-and-goal from the 7 (a complete disaster) and Nevada misses the two point conversion (a sliver of hope).

Ram ball, down 5, one minute left, no timeouts. Penalty on the kick return because our special teams is an absolute trainwreck. It’s Bobo’s first year though, I’m sure he’ll get that fixed.

We all know how this ends. Rams drive down the field and the game ends on another boner from the offense:


The game is here if you hate yourself and want to watch an evening of Ian Seau running circles around our left tackle:

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