Gage Gaynor • Offensive Guard • Freshman • Parkland, FL

^{(I’m cheating a little bit here. Gaynor is listed as number 73 on the roster, but he wore 74 in high school and on his recruiting visits. The Rams also have another incoming freshman who wore 73 in high school but hasn’t been assigned a number yet at CSU. So I’m making an executive decision and putting Gaynor at 74 and the other Ram at 73.)}

So far: Gaynor was a highly recruited player out of Stoneman Douglas High School. He picked CSU over offers from Louisville, Marshall, Air Force, MTSU, and others. His cousin Corey Gaynor plays for Miami (Florida) and his other cousin Chris Gaynor was a Texas Christian Horny Toad.

Gaynor was an early enrollee and has been on campus since January.

What’s next: Based off his high school film, Gaynor can play guard or center. I’m guessing the staff will take this year to develop him at both positions. The Rams actually have some depth in the interior of the offensive line, so I don’t see Gaynor playing a lot in 2020 even though he has a head start from already being on campus. But then again, what the hell do I know?

Brewery nearest Parkland, Florida: Black Flamingo Brewing Company

Black Flamingo Brewing Company and Bangin Banjo Brewing Company are located in the same office park and both breweries have really good reviews on Yelp, so it looks like a pretty efficient way to get hammered if you ever find yourself in Parkland, Florida.

Lowest Yelp Review for Black Flamingo:

There really aren’t many bad reviews for this place. I liked Paul S’ review because he goes out of his way to let us all know that he has a “lady friend” on the “Eastside”, as if it’s important information. Can we assume he also has a “lady friend” in “Canada”?

Pauly Westside is coming to your town lookin’ for lady friends and libations. And he’s got all the libations he needs.

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Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #47
2019 Colorado, The Four Turnover Game

• Final Score: Colorado State 31, Colorado 52
• Line: Colorado State +12.5
• Venue: Empower Field

We’re making some progress on this list as we’re finally through all the Rocky Mountain Showdowns!

This game was the least infuriating RMS for three reasons: 1. it was pretty close for most of the game, 2. we got this Dante Wright guy who’s fucking awesome, 3. by this point in 2019 a loss in a trophy game was all but certain and we were all dead inside.

There was actually a little optimism going into the game because this was Mel Tucker’s first game as a head coach. That optimism went away quickly as the Buffs took their opening drive 75 yards for a touchdown with minimal resistance from the defense, and it was like “oh god, here we go again.”

But then Collin Hill hits Dante Wright on a bomb on the next drive. Dante Wright! There were murmurs that he worked his way up the depth chart, but no one could have guessed a Freshman All-American season!

The game was pretty close for awhile, but the Rams started off the 2nd half with a classic Marvin Kinsey fumble, one of four Rams turnovers. When you’re -4 in turnovers, you’re going to have a bad time.

Speaking of turnovers, look at this shit:

LOOK AT THIS SHIT:

The Buffs are a garbage football program, but year-after-year they come into the RMS like it’s their Super Bowl and become one of the greatest football teams in the country. Bobo’s Rams could never match the intensity, most likely due to Bobo’s “Every Game is a Trophy Game” nonsense. If every game is a trophy game, then no game is a trophy game.

So a close game is eventually blown open in the 4th quarter, a theme for the 2019 season.

Before we go, let’s check in on the vaunted left side of the offensive line:

GREAT JOB GUYS! Have fun blocking air at your new schools!

_{(To be fair, there’s a good chance that play was Marvin Kinsey’s fault, but that would get in the way of my Vaunted Left Side of the Offensive Line bit)}

The Buffs would go on to a losing season, per CU tradition. As you might guess, they’d come no where near scoring 52 points the rest of the year. After the season, Coach Mel Tucker would leave them up shit’s creek without a paddle when he took the Michigan State job in February which is hilarious and makes Mel Tucker an all-time legend.

The full game is here if you hate yourself and want to watch it: