No number 61 on the roster, so we’ll look at the Top 10 touchdowns of 2019. These were really difficult to rank and honestly they could be placed in any order. I reserve the right to change the order any way I see fit.

10. Marvin Kinsey 75 yard run vs Arkansas

We’ve seen some big gainers from Kinsey in this countdown, but none bigger than his 75 yarder against the Razorbacks. On just the second play of the game the Rams were up 7-0 and a half-empty Razorback Stadium was in shock.

The play was made by Left Guard Nouredin Nouili. Take a look at this:

He takes a split second with TJ Storment’s guy, somehow avoids the guy Scott Brooks is blocking into him, goes across the hole and deletes #8 from the play; springing Kinsey for a touchdown. Incredible play by Nouili and he should have been a four year starter for us and it REALLY PISSES ME OFF. If any of our OOC games get corona’d I say we replace it with Nebraska and go kick their ass.

9. Andre Neal 44 yard interception return

With the score tied at 14 in the 2nd quarter, Coach Bobo decided it was the perfect time for a boner in the kicking game so he sent a walk-on freshman onto the field to miss a 51-yard field goal. Typically these types of boners are followed up by an immediate score from the opposing team, but All-World NFL Arm Talent Pretty Boy Quarterback Jordan Love didn’t put enough mustard on his pass and Andre Neal made him pay.

Then all the Utah State quarterbacks gathered around the phone with really concerned looks on their faces, which was funny:

The Rams would follow up the pick-6 with another kicking game boner (delay of game on an extra point attempt, an incredible feat), but would still manage to convert.

8. Warren Jackson 8 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Colorado

If you’re defending Warren Jackson in the red zone, there is zero room for error. One misstep and you’re dead. On this play, Jackson does a good job selling that he’s just going to block for a run play and the moment #1 for Colorado bites, the play is over.

Lol, maybe next time Delrick.

7. Dante Wright 39 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Colorado

Coach Bobo outmaneuvered the CU defense and good ‘ol Delrick knew they were boned from the start:

As color commentator and CSU legend Kelly Stouffer astutely notes, it’s one thing to be in position to make a big play, it’s another thing to actually execute it. Hill throws a perfect ball, getting it over the cornerback’s head and getting it to Wright before the safety can help over the top. The level of difficulty on this play was through the roof but they pulled it off.

Lol, maybe next time Delrick.

6. Dante Wright 41 yard run vs Colorado

DANTE WRIGHT AGAIN! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THIS GUY!??!?!

Fourth down near the 50 yard line always gets the blood pressure up. So it was pretty exciting to see the Rams pick up a big gainer and I just about lost my mind when Wright turned on the jets and took it all the way for six.

I think this is why people get so addicted to college football. Before the game, Wright was just a guy you only know from his 247 Sports profile and his HUDL videos. Two quarters into the first game of the season and you’re now looking at a cornerstone of the offense for the next four years. In college football there is always hope. That true freshman, or that guy who redshirted, or that guy who transferred in; they all have the chance be the next great Ram.

Also, can someone help me out here?

What is up with this sign? It’s pretty glossy, so the guy put some effort into it. What purpose does it serve? Is it some kind of inside joke? What was the halftime show? I’m assuming the marching band? Is this guy the father of someone in the marching band? Why would he make this sign? I’m so confused.

5. Anthony Hawkins 99 yard kickoff return vs UNLV

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you’ve probably picked up on theme that nothing drives me crazier than boners in the kicking game. Whether it’s missed field goals, blocked extra points, penalties on kick returns… they all drive me insane.

The Rams were averaging around 20 yards per kick return going into this game, so you can imagine my shock and elation when Anthony Hawkins took the opening kickoff 99 yards for a touchdown. It was the most unexpected touchdown of the season, as the Rams usually struggled to get kick returns past the 25-yard line.

I’ve watched the replay dozens of times and probably the most impressive part about it is that no one actually does anything all that impressive. There are no pancake blocks or crazy moves by Hawkins; everyone just does what they’re supposed to do and Hawkins goes 99 yards untouched.

I really enjoyed the camera shot of the two fans celebrating with a text book high five. It looked like it was stolen right out of an EA Sports NCAA Football game:

Seriously! Is this real life? It looks exactly like the video game!

In case you were wondering, the last kickoff return for a touchdown was by Kevin Nutt Jr against Fresno State in 2015:

4. Mohamed Kamara 63 yard fumble return vs Air Force

It’s always cool when a play combines a veteran all-time favorite type of guy (Manny Jones) and a young up-and-comer making his first big play (Mohamed Kamara). It’s also cool when a play takes out a decade’s worth of frustration from the howdy doody Air Force Falcons and their triple option.

They finally screwed it up and Manny Jones made them pay. The Rams go up 14-0 and I think we actually have a chance to beat these guys! (Spoiler alert: we didn’t.)

Bonus points for running towards a packed New Belgium Porch. That’s always so cool.

Also, bonus points to the dude who wore a Navy hat to an Air Force game:

3. Warren Jackson 87 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs New Mexico

No one is ever going to accuse Patrick O’Brien of being shy when trying to get the ball to Warren Jackson. He rolls out, guns it into triple coverage and Jackson does the rest. CSU put out a sweet video that’ll explain the touchdown better than I ever could:

2. Trey McBride 69 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Fresno State

No one really knew what to expect coming into this game. The Rams have a history of pulling off wins in Fresno, but the season had been a disappointment to this point. That’s why this touchdown was so important, it set a tone for the game that the Rams were coming in to Bulldog Stadium to get a win.

Also, the play was a spectacular, SportsCenter Top 10 type effort from McBride. When McBride gets taken in the NFL Draft, I guarantee this play will lead off his highlight package. In my head I can already hear that ESPN NFL highlight music (like this song) and Mel Kiper Jr starting in “Trey McBride, Tight End out of Colorado State…” while a video of McBride leaping over Fresno State is playing on the screen.

Anyway, I can’t help but feel bad for #23 on this play. First, he bites on the play-action, allowing McBride to get open. Then to add insult to injury, he chases McBride down and gets hurdled over! This is basically the football equivalent of getting dunked on. I know it’s only the first quarter, but 23 should have just hit the showers at that point and called it a day.

Here’s another video that CSU put out for the touchdown:

1. Dante Wright 75 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Arkansas

Down 7, back-up quarterback, 3rd-and-13, on the road against an SEC school. This is when you need someone to make a play. Enter true freshman Dante Wright, making the most spectacular play of the season.

Just look at this!

And look at this guy:

“Nice effort!” is what he was saying in front of his wife and kid, I’m sure of it.

So there you go, all the touchdowns of the 2019 season!

No 62 on the roster so lets look at touchdowns 20 through 11. Reminder, if my HTML code is right, the YouTube video should jump ahead to the touchdown:

20. Marvin Kinsey 77 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Western Illinois

Pretty nice way for Hill to pad his stats by throwing it to Kinsey in the flat and letting him do all the work. The Leatherneck defense just kinda lost track of Kinsey and he’s gone. Do the Rams have any RB’s on the roster for the 2020 season that can punish a team like this?

19. Trey McBride 4 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Air Force

The box score might show a simple 4 yard TD pass, but this play earns a bunch of bonus points. First, it’s against the dreaded Air Force Academy. The score put us up 7-0 and allowed us to dream the impossible dream that we might beat this jerks for once. Next, the play was on a 4th down and I love the decision to go for it because why the hell not. And last, there is some poetic justice using a misdirection play against the Academy, the kings of misdirection. This wasn’t just a touchdown, it was a pantsing of their defense. I loved every second of it and I hate the Air Force Academy with every fiber of my being and I can say that again now that July 4th is over.

18. Marcus McElroy 4 yard run vs Fresno State

Not the prettiest touchdown in the world, but an important one. The Bulldogs had just scored to take a 28-24 lead, their first lead of the game. Fresno had all the momentum at this point after weathering an early storm. Instead of lying down, the Rams came right back and took the lead.

Here’s the play that got them into the redzone:

Lol. That Warren Jackson is pretty good.

17. Marvin Kinsey 74 yard run vs Toledo

I love this image:

Kind of a Keystone Cop vibe from a terrible Toledo defense.

While the play is exciting, it loses some points for aesthetics because the stands are empty, the Golden Poms are nowhere to be found, and the band doesn’t seem to into it. It also doesn’t help that the Ram defense decided they’d be playing two-hand touch that evening and our offensive fireworks weren’t enough to come away victorious.

16. Dante Wright 75 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Western Illinois

First play of the game, what a friggin’ play call. I imagine the coaches and players had been working on that all week and to see it executed to perfection must have been pretty exciting. I was still at the south entrance of the stadium going up the stairs when the cannon went off so I missed it!

15. Trey McBride 42 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs New Mexico

Damn, what a block by Kinsey on that one. I love watching #33 on the Lobos on this play. First, he lets McBride run right past him. Then after he knows he’s burnt, he runs with his shoulders bobbing back-and-forth, kind of like a little kid chasing after his big brother who stole his Nintendo Switch.

14. EJ Scott 10 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Western Illinois

This one would rank a lot higher if not for the fumble and the ensuing 10-minute review by the officials. Kind of took all the fun out of it. But it really was a great touchdown, just look at this:

How does Scott score here? Incredible play.

13. Warren Jackson 16 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Boise State

Always impressive seeing your star receiver go over the middle and catch it in traffic. Always nice to see two Boise State defenders get obliterated on the same play. Bonus points for Scott Brooks diving in late and “tackling” Jackson. Never fails to crack me up.

12. Trey McBride 28 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Boise State

I refer to this one as the Bowling Pin touchdown. The play starts with a sweet stiff-arm and ends with McBride knocking down everyone in his path. Watch the replay and watch #48 get a knee to the face. So much carnage on this play, it’s so great. This McBride fella is a freaking beast.

11. Warren Jackson 11 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Fresno State

O’Brien with the classic “throw it to a spot” play. For someone of Jackson’s size to be agile enough to make this kind of adjustment on the ball is a little unfair, right? This play would end up being the game winner in a season where there weren’t many game winners.

The great thing about O’Brien is that he’s not shy about just throwing it in Jackson’s direction and letting him make a play, as we’ll see in tomorrow’s Top 10 Touchdowns of 2019.

(Was that a segue? That’s what real writers do, right?)

Alex Azusenis • Offensive Line • Redshirt Freshman •  Powell, Ohio

So far: Azusenis was a three star recruit who picked Colorado State over offers from pretty much every team in the Mid-American Conference. He didn’t see any game action in his redshirt season, but it looks like he saw some weight room action as the official roster shows him going from 285 to 305 pounds of pure, unadulterated strength.

What’s next: It feels like every year there’s a guy who isn’t really talked about much by the fans but becomes a regular on the offensive line. Why couldn’t Azusenis be that guy this year? He was recruited by previous offensive line coach Dave Johnson and I’m 100% on board with Coach Johnson’s ability to find o-line talent in the Midwest. Eddie Herz mentioned in his offensive line preview for the Loveland Herald-Reporter that Azusenis did well in 2019 fall camp, so we have a little evidence to back this theory up. We desperately need some depth at the tackle position and Azusenis is my guess to be that guy!

(Please keep in mind that I know absolutely nothing.)

Brewery nearest to Powell, Ohio: Nocterra Brewing Company

Nocterra. Nocterra… It sounds like a one of those made up words that car companies use to name their vehicles. Experience outdoor luxury in the brand new Nissan Nocterra…

Do you ever sit down and really think about how stupid these car names are? They’re just non-sense words! Elantra… Sentra… Maxima… Integra… Explosiva… Never fails to crack me up.

Lowest Yelp Review for Nocterra:

Almost every bad review for this place mentioned packs of feral children, which I’ve found to be a common complaint for breweries across the nation. If I ever open a brewery, it’ll have a 21+ VIP Lounge. With a ball pit that the kids aren’t allowed to use because kids suck.

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Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #40
2015 Utah State, The Upside Down Game

• Final Score: Colorado State 18, Utah State 33
• Line: Colorado State +6
• Venue: Maverick Stadium

I feel like we’ve hit a milestone as this Utah State game is our last loss against a team with a losing record. From here on out it’s moral victories against teams much better than us. Hooray!

Utah State was having a white out. Any time a Utah school has a “white out”, I always laugh a little.

I have a confession to make: I don’t remember anything about this game. I’m not just saying that just so I can mail-in this post and go enjoy my holiday bbq; I honestly don’t remember anything about this game. The game was only broadcast on ESPN3 so there’s a good chance I only watched it on a crappy illegal stream (or not at all).

ESPN put their cameras on the wrong side of the field, which is hilarious:

So I’m almost certain I didn’t watch this game, because I guarantee I would have remembered that and I’d forever know this game as the Upside Down Game.

The Aggies came into the game without their starting QB and backup quarterback Kent Myers took the reigns. Myers didn’t do much through the air, but was able to run for 191 yards on 16 carries.

Okay, I’m re-watching the game and I definitely didn’t watch it in 2015, because there’s no way I’d forget this play:

Thanks, ref!

Anyway, this was one of those games where the Rams would keep it close but never threaten to win.

The Aggies had a ton of talent on defense (Kyler Fackrell, Nick Vigil, Jalen Davis) but would finish the season 6-7 after a loss to Akron in the Potato Bowl.

You can watch the game here if you’re really bored and hate celebrating America:

Happy 4th!

Scott Brooks • Center • Senior • Moorpark, CA

So far: Brooks picked CSU over reported offers from Air Force, Hawaii, New Mexico, Columbia and others. Once again the combination of offers from service academies, Ivy’s, and Mountain West schools is usually a pretty good indicator that an offensive lineman is going to do well.

Brooks played in one game his true freshman season against Abilene Christian. This is the year before the new redshirt rule was in place, so we blew his redshirt for one game. As an outsider, that seems like an incredibly dumb thing to do but who knows what was happening behind the scenes. Maybe Brooks made it known that he planned on graduating in four years and that’s it? All I know is that Brooks was great last year as our starting center and it’d be a lot cooler if he was a Redshirt Junior going into the season.

What’s next: With a line full of question marks, Brooks anchoring the middle is one of the few things that seems certain. 12 starts and a place on one of the All-MWC teams? Brooks is also an All-Academic guy, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him grad transfer after the season if we wants to play another year.

Brewery nearest to Moorpark, California: Enegren Brewing Company

Enegren has been around since 2010 and focuses on German style beers, which means no IPA’s. I applaud their courage and would love to visit if I ever find myself in Moorpark.

Lowest Yelp Review for Enegren Brewing Company:

Nothing really to report here. Somehow this place has ten pages of four and five star reviews. The worst one I could find just complains about parking. “This place is so popular that I had a hard time finding parking. One star!” Nice review, Sara R.

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Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #41
2018 Hawaii, The Surprise Blowout

• Final Score: Colorado State 34, Hawaii 43
• Line: Colorado State -17
• Venue: Canvas Stadium

2017 saw Hawaii finish with a 3-9 record, including a 51-21 loss to CSU on their home turf. So going into the first game of the college football season, Ram fans had to feel pretty good about their chances. Vegas installed the Rams 17-point favorites, making this the worst loss of the Mike Bobo Era in terms of point spread.

The game started with the Rainbows kicker kicking the ball short of the goal line. Instead of taking advantage of a new rule that allowed returners to fair catch the ball from anywhere on the field and take it at the 25, Preston Williams decided to run it back and fumbled. The Rams were also called for holding, so they started at the 15 (fortunately they recovered the fumble). This was the most predictable opening ever. When the new fair catch rule was put in place, it was almost a certainty that CSU wouldn’t take advantage of it.

The Rainbows were nearly unstoppable in the first half, only punting once and racing out to a 23-7 lead. Hawaii QB Cole McDonald had an all-timer with 418 yards on 26-37 passing. He also ran for 96 yards and 2 TD’s. And had white guy dreadlocks. Legendary performance.

Hawaii was leading 37-7 when KJ Carta-Samuels revved up the offense and made a game of it. After making the score 37-20, Coach Bobo called for a two-point conversion and missed it. Should he have gone for two there? Go from 17 to 16, or go from 17 to 15? Most charts will tell you to go for 1 to make it a two score game. Others say to go for 2, like this study from the math nerds at 538.

Either way, the Rams would eventually find themselves down 9 points with 44 seconds left, and they easily could have been down 8 instead. 20/20 hindsight or bad strategy? The Rams would lose 43-34 in a classic “not as close as the score makes it seem” game. Anyone who took the Rams -17 was irate.

There were a couple highlights though. KJ Carta-Samuels set the CSU record for passing yards in a game with 537. Add 5 touchdowns to that and you have a helluva debut.

The game was also the long-awaiting debut for Preston Williams. Anyone who was at the 2017 Spring Game and saw this…

…and had been waiting over a year to see him play in a real game. The wait was even worse as Williams spent a lot of his transfer year suspended from the team and his status was up in the air.

After only seeing that one play from him from the 2017 Green & Gold game, it was crazy to see Williams pull off almost the same exact play in his first real game:

This game also featured a Center going out for a pass, something I had only seen in my co-ed flag football league:

Unfortunately, this game was a sign of things to come for CSU in a disastrous 2018 season. Hawaii would finish a deceptive 8-6 with most of their wins coming against the dregs of the Mountain West. That used to be us!!!

The game is here if you want to watch. I suggest fast-forwarding to the 3rd quarter:

There is no 65 on the roster so we move on to the second part of ranking every TD of 2019.

30. Marcus McElroy 9 yard run vs Fresno State

The biggest highlight is Warren Jackson going in motion and absolutely deleting some guy from the play. Also nice to see McElroy with enough speed to outrun a defensive back to the pylon.

29. Jaylen Thomas 11 yard run vs UNLV

Extra points for Thomas’ stiff arm and Warren Jackson setting the edge. Loses points for poor cannon execution. Did we decide not to waste cannon shots against a team like UNLV. (I think I remember the shots being fairly expensive when they did a fundraiser for it a couple years back.)

Overall a pretty ho-hum TD against the ho-hum’est of opponents. We all hate Wyoming, Air Force, and Colorado a lot and then hate other teams to varying degrees (Boise, New Mexico, SDSU, etc). I wonder if there’s some Ram fan out there who just hates UNLV football. That person has to exist, right? I’d like to meet this person.

28. Marcus McElroy 18 yard run vs UNLV

This one ranks a bit higher than Thomas’ because he made two men miss opposed to one. And Warren Jackson with the pancake block! You watching this NFL scouts?

I’m praying every day that we’ll be able to watch the Rams beat up the Rebels at the new Raiders stadium. Epic road trip.

27. Marvin Kinsey 14 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Western Illinois

Man, that Marvin Kinsey was electric when he wanted to be. Extra points for the juke and the cannon blast (a little late but still effective).

26. Warren Jackson 4 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Wyoming

I love these “Man versus Boys” types of touchdowns that only Warren Jackson can pull off.

Lol, nice try little guy.

This touchdown earns bonus points for being against Wyoming, but it didn’t mean much as the offense wouldn’t threaten for the rest of the game. EVERY GAME IS A TROPHY GAME^TM!

25. Dante Wright 33 yard run vs Western Illinois

Nothing I like better than an end-around to Dante Wright and nothing sweeter than running towards the New Belgium Porch with an Old Aggie ad in the background. The play loses a lot of points due to the opponent and the game was out of hand at this point.

24. Dante Wright 17 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Air Force

I love watching #14 from Air Force on this play. He gets caught looking in the backfield and then he’s like “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” This score brought the Rams within 3 points with over six minutes left, but the Falcons would end up blowing the game open.

23. Warren Jackson 14 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Arkansas

Jackson gets inside position on the skinny post and it’s over for that Razorback DB. It reminds me of when I was a little kid playing basketball with my dad and he’d box me out for a rebound. No chance. A+ touchdown celebration by Jackson here. I like how the guys on the SEC Network try to claim that Jackson is from Georgia. You can’t have him! THAT’S EAST COAST BIAS!!!

22. Warren Jackson 26 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs New Mexico

The Rams were in control of the game, but things were getting a little uneasy as the Lobos were hanging around. After a Lobo touchdown and a CSU missed field goal, the Rams were only up 7 and acing a third-and-long. We needed a play, so just throw it up to Jackson for another Man versus Boys touchdown. This TD slammed the door shut and the Rams came away with the win. Wow! That Jackson’s something!

21. Cameron Butler 13 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Colorado

Rub play, pick play, offensive pass interference… whatever you want to call it, it was a pretty sweet play by Toby McBride and Cameron Butler to get Butler wide open for the TD. The score got the Rams within 7 points and WE’RE BACK IN THIS THING!!

I especially love this guy, who encapsulated all of Ram Nation in that moment:

He’s the best! Where did he get a towel from? Did he bring it to the game specifically so he could wave it? Should be all start bringing towels to games so we can match this guy’s intensity?

Anyway, that’s it for today. Until next time.

No number 66 on the roster, so today I’m starting a four part series ranking every touchdown from 2019 from most mundane to the most spectacular.

I ranked each touchdown based on aesthetics, opponent (a TD vs Western Illinois is worth less than one against CU), and importance (a game winner is worth more than one in garbage time).

If my HTML skillz are still up to par, the YouTube videos should start and stop with the specific touchdown.

42 through 39- Jaylen Thomas 3 yard run vs Boise State, Jaylen Thomas 2 yard run vs Utah State, Marvin Kinsey 1 yard run vs Utah State, Collin Hill 1 yard run vs Arkansas

I grouped these four together because I couldn’t find anything interesting about them. They’re all just goal line touchdowns and tie for last place.

38. Patrick O’Brien 1 yard run vs Toledo

This TD is just as boring as the first four that I grouped together, but it earned an extra aesthetic point from the Toledo defender pushing O’Brien backwards well after the whistle. It was funny and a total dick move.

37. Patrick O’Brien 1 yard run vs Fresno State

Another ho-hum touchdown, but this one gets bonus points because of the sweet play by Warren Jackson to get down to the 1 yard line.

36. Marvin Kinsey 3 yard run vs New Mexico

This is another one that gets bonus points from the play preceding it. Nothing more fun than watching Dante Wright take off on an end-around, and look at Trey McBride blocking his guy into bench! So good. Also bonus points for the play-by-play guy’s touchdown call: “Kinsey… GI-ANT SPACE!”. Lol, what?

35. Nate Craig-Myers 13 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs San Diego State

I feel bad ranking NCM’s first touchdown as a Ram so low, but this was the epitome of a garbage time touchdown. The little stutter move he did was pretty nice, put #17 in some quicksand.

34. Christian Hunter 5 yard run vs UNLV

I also feel bad ranking Hunter’s first career touchdown so low, but it loses points for opponent (who cares about UNLV), importance (game was already a blowout), and aesthetics (looked like his knees were down).

33. Warren Jackson 6 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Toledo

This is a pretty sweet play from CSU. Jackson lines up on the outside and I’m sure #20 for Toledo is prepared for a fade route to the back corner. Instead Jackson runs a crossing pattern, wide open.

32. Marvin Kinsey 14 yard run vs Toledo

Look at McBride and NCM out there setting the edge! Love to see it! Holy Toledo, that was a crappy defense. What a terrible loss.

31. Marvin Kinsey 1 yard run vs New Mexico

This is probably the most exciting 1 yard run you’ll ever see. It came on a 4th down right before halftime. Instead of kicking a field goal, Coach Bobo decided to set the tone and go for it.

Jeff Taylor lines up in the backfield and comes out of the blocks like a crazy train; #9 on New Mexico wanted no part of that. Don’t know why Kinsey didn’t follow his blocking to the right, but you can’t argue with the results.

That concludes Part 1. 30 through 21 tomorrow and stuff starts getting a lot more interesting.