The Countdown to Kickoff is on hold for now until we get an idea of when kickoff will actually happen (could still be September 5th for all we know), but for now let’s keep ranking the games of the Bobo Era. We’re so close to getting out of the losses and into the wins so we’re not stopping now.
This complete and utter ass whoopin’ from Boise State would have ranked higher (lower?), but my arbitrary proprietary ranking system factors in the fact that this Boise team was ranked, finished with 9 wins, and we were wearing pink socks. Hard to see any team winning under those circumstances.
Coach Bobo played two QBs during the game and as the old football adage says: if you have two quarterbacks, you have no quarterbacks. That proved to be the truth on this Saturday night in Fort Collins as Nick Stevens went 8 for 10 for 60 yards and Coleman Key went 5 for 19 for 56, 1 TD, and 2 picks.
As you can imagine, not too many highlights from this one.
Kevin Pierre-Louis killed a guy:
So that was cool?
I remember when I used to complain so much about KPL and Trent Matthews. “Anyone could be better than this,” I would say as a random Air Force quarterback noodle-armed yet another 20-yard completion down the seam. But I had no idea what kind of safety play was waiting for us after their graduations. I would like to take this moment to apologize to KPL and Matthews. And Nick Januska. I took you all for granted and I’m sorry.
Anyway, it’s hard to have sour grapes about a game where you get beat by five touchdowns while wearing pink socks, but look at this play:
We have no margin of error against Boise, but it seems like shit like this happens every time we play them.
(Man… I kinda forgot how gorgeous Hughes Stadium could be during late autumn afternoons when the stands were packed. Maybe someone should have tried to save it?)
That was Coleman Key’s first interception of the game. Not really his fault as Xavier Williams was probably a foot taller than the Boise guy. This second interception though… definitely a boner by Key:
Key would get one more drive which ended in a punt and then he’d never play a meaningful down for CSU ever again. Whammy!
Some lunatic actually uploaded the full broadcast version of this snoozer onto YouTube and I can’t think of any reason to watch it unless, of course, you hate yourself:
So far: Sherard is the highest rated recruit remaining from the 2018 class. He picked the Rams over reported offers from Clemson, Duke, North Carolina, Tennessee and others.
He went to T.L. Hanna High School, which was the setting for the movie Radio, that Cuba Gooding Jr movie based on a true story. (I knew it sounded familiar.)
T.L. Hanna was also the home of this acting legend:
Sherard redshirted his freshman year and didn’t see the field in his redshirt freshman year. That means his legs are fresh, Coach Dazzle! Put him in!
What’s next: He makes his CSU debut in 2020! (I have no idea.)
Brewery nearest Anderson, South Carolina: Carolina Bauernhaus Brewery & Winery
According to the internet, “bauernhaus” is German for farmhouse or cottage. Personally, I would have gone with Carolina Cottage Brewery because alliteration sells. They teach you that in day one of business school.
It turns out there is, in fact, a Carolina Cottage Company; a home builder based out of North Carolina. I know nothing about them, but it’s safe to assume they are the most successful home builder in all of the Carolinas (perhaps the world?) based off the triple alliteration in their name. Just look at these titans of business:
I like the jackass who couldn’t be bothered to find a button-down for their little team photo. Let’s put him in the front of the picture, they thought.
Lowest Yelp Review for Carolina Cottage:
Pretty good reviews overall for this place. The only one-star came from our friend Jervis G. He complains that the wine “quickly warms to a mulled sensibility.”
Just imagine being a server at that place, it’s super busy, you’re bringing out pints, flights, and glasses of wine. Jervis G motions you over, swirls his wine glass in the air and says, “My dear? May I bother you for one cube of ice? This wine is beginning to have a mulled sensibility.” Lol, for real? No wonder Server Hannah was rude. The only mulled sensibility here should be Jervis G’s face after Hannah slaps it.
Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #37 2015 San Diego State, The Halloween Game
Final Score: Colorado State 17, San Diego State 41
Line: Colorado State +3
Venue: Hughes Stadium
I hate games played on Halloween, I never have a good feeling about them. I think it comes from the infamous Broncos vs Colts Halloween game on Monday Night Football in 1988. For all the kids reading this, playing on Monday Night Football was a huge deal back in those days. (Also in those days, we wore masks for fun, not as a precautionary measure to avoid murdering grandma.)
We were going house to house collecting our Halloween candy and we’d ask for the score of the game throughout the night. It seems like every time we asked, Eric Dickerson and the Colts had scored another touchdown. Dickerson had 124 yards and 4 touchdowns in the first half! The Colts won 55-23, and I can’t express enough how massive this game was. It scared me for life.
Even though the Rams were coming off a win over Air Force and a bye week, I wasn’t feeling good about the game at all. (Too bad sports gambling wasn’t legal yet, SDSU -3 was the lock of the century.)
The game gets off to a spooky start when Jasen Oden somehow fumbles at the goal line on the Rams opening drive:
How does that ball even come out? Was it a g..g…ghost????
CSU would actually keep it close for a half, going into the locker room down 13-10. Unfortunately, they didn’t mind showing up for the second half and got outscored 28-7.
Look, I totally get it. We’ve all lived in Fort Collins and we’ve all had some epic Halloweens up there. The costumes are all either super hilarious or super revealing and it’s just a great time. One year in particular my girlfriend bought a long blonde wig and dressed up like a “sassy” cop. It was the best. There is no way I could have played a football game that day.
So I give the Rams a pass on the egg pumpkin they laid in the second half. (Plus, that Aztec team was pretty good. They’d run the table in the Mountain West and finish 11-3.)
There is hardly an video of this game on the internet, here are some CSU highlights:
Owen Snively • Offensive Line • Freshman • Tilton, NH
No 58 on the roster yet. Snively wore 57 on his recruiting visit, but 57 is already taken, so I’ll put him here for now.
So far: Snively was a three-star recruit who picked CSU over offers from Rutgers, Syracuse, UConn, and others. He took an official visit to Rutgers, so it’s easy to assume it came down to CSU and Rutgers.
The folks on a Rutgers message board claimed that Snively “likes the outdoors”. (I don’t know if that’s true or not, but lets pretend it is.) The top minds at Rutgers took this information and decided to impress Snively on his official visit by taking him to… Times Square. So that’s pretty funny if it’s true.
It’s pretty funny that they take any recruit to Times Square, to be honest. “Your new home in New Jersey is butt, so let’s hop on the Turnpike and drive 30 minutes to somewhere better.” It would be like Wyoming taking all their recruits down to Fort Collins to experience modern civilization. (That’s actually not be a bad idea. You’re welcome, Craig Bohl.)
What’s next: I’m a broken record here, but I doubt any of the true freshmen offensive linemen see much playing time in 2020.
Brewery nearest Tilton, New Hampshire: Kettlehead Brewing Company
This place is currently serving a stout named Chardee McDennis. If you’re familiar at all with Always Sunny- the inspiration for Always Sonny moniker- then you know all about Chardee McDennis, the Game of Games. Next time I’m in New Hampshire (probably never) I need to make sure to swing by Kettlehead and pay tribute. (Those black & tans/snakebites in the background look pretty good as well.
Lowest Yelp Review for Kettlehead Brewing:
“Doesn’t know her ass from her elbow” is a wonderful idiom that I should probably be using more. Thank you for the reminder, Dana G.
Management of Kettlehead, just a head’s up if you’re reading this: if you make all these huge changes to your brewery, Dana G from Little River, South Carolina (920 miles away) will make a return visit and give you a better Yelp review. A tempting offer. Your move, Kettlehead.
Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #38 2018 Boise State, Friday Night Lights-out
Final Score: Colorado State 28, Boise State 56
Line: Colorado State +23.5
Venue: Albertson’s Stadium
Friday night, national TV audience on ESPN2. What could go wrong?
Everything. Everything could go wrong. Just look at this 4th-and-36 (4th-and-36!!) play:
Lol, down 21-0 after that shit? Might as well load up the buses and leave town.
By the way, it wouldn’t have made a difference in the grand scheme of things, but I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to do this:
But who am I to doubt the competence of world-class Mountain West officiating?
The Rams would have gone into halftime down 35-0 if not for a last second bomb to Preston Williams. I don’t know if you can even call this a Hail Mary because he was so wide open:
What the hell is the Boise safety doing there? You have one job on that play! That safety doesn’t know his ass from his elbow. (I did it, Dana G!)
We’ve recently gone over the illegally touched Hail Mary against Utah State and the two Hail Marys that came up short against Toledo. Those plays would have been game winners. It really is classic CSU to complete a Hail Mary while down 35-0.
Nothing much else to say about this game, other than this bullshit:
It just wouldn’t be a Bobo Era loss without a boner in the kicking game to cap things off.
Good news is that this is the last game in the countdown where the Rams give up more than 50 points. And we’re down to only nine losses left overall!
Here is a condensed version of the game if you hate yourself and want to watch it:
There is no #59 on the roster. I was one of the millions of people who watched Hamilton on Disney+ over the weekend and all the political drama and backstabbing got me thinking about all the political drama and backstabbing in the Mountain West. The Airport Meeting! The Project! Whatever that Boise State to the Big East Thing Was Called!
So why not waste some time comparing Mountain West football programs to characters from Hamilton? What else do you have to do? Work? Work!
Alexander Hamilton • Colorado State Rams
1998. Denver International Airport. Four university presidents and the superintendent of the United States Air Force hold a top-secret meeting. The topic? Revolution. The ring leader? Colorado State president Al Yates.
The 16-team WAC had become an unwieldy mess. Wyoming being put in a different division was the last straw for Yates, prompting him to gather the heads of Wyoming, Utah, Air Force, and BYU to start a new break-off conference.
2012. The Big East comes west and captures the Mountain West’s most prized possession, Boise State, along with the coattail-riding San Diego State. It is a done deal until rumors of another secret meeting surface. This time involving Boise State president Bob Kustra, Mountain West commissioner Craig Thompson, and CSU AD Jack Graham. Graham’s sales pitch: keep what you kill. (Not as eloquent as Hamilton, but effective none-the-less.) Boise State can negotiate their own television contract outside of the conference TV deal and keep the profits. The maneuver works, Boise stays west.
“If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?”
During BYU’s time in the Mountain West, they had a habit of never really taking a stance. CSU took the lead on the airport meeting. BYU had to go a long, what other choice did they have? The controversial Mtn Network? Not BYU’s fault, they had a new president and athletic director and couldn’t be bothered with the details of launching the first conference-specific network in the history of college athletics! How could they have known there would be issues? The Project? Not their fault! It was the WAC who approached them with a plan to destroy the Mountain West. They were just listening! Is that so wrong?
The cowards from Provo spent years in the Mountain West not taking a stance on any important issue. There were also the constant rumors of independence, but that didn’t happen until Utah blew past them and it was too late. Their dreams of a Power 5 conference waved goodbye and they really had no other choice. (You get nothing if you wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.)
Burr’s duel with Hamilton is BYU leaving the Mountain West. Their time as an independent football team and the member of a bus league in all other sports can be equated Burr’s later life, where he spent years in obscurity until his death.
I wasn’t totally sure which Mountain West team should be Burr until the scene where Burr approaches Hamilton after his wedding:
Burr: I came to say congratulations!
Mulligan: Spit a verse, Burr!
Burr: …I see the whole gang is here…
Lafayette: You are the worst, Burr.
Yep, totally BYU.
George Washington • Utah Utes
The general of the Mountain West army, the Utes were kicking ass on and off the field. The Utes would win four conference titles and become the first non-AQ team to make a BCS bowl. They’d repeat the feat a couple years later and blow out Alabama in the Sugar Bowl.
They were the first college ever to have the number one draft pick in the NFL (Alex Smith) and NBA (Andrew Bogut) in the same year. Off the field they made major investments into athletics and academics. While other Mountain West schools were having their ups and downs, the Utes were a giant middle-finger to Bill Hancock and the BCS powers.
“I can’t be everywhere at once people. I’m in dire need of assistance.”
They’d eventually leave the Mountain West for greener pastures, their version of not seeking re-election and moving back to Mount Vernon.
King George III • WAC Commissioner Karl Benson
King George III singing “You’ll Be Back” to the upstart Americans immediately made me think of former WAC commissioner Karl Benson. Just imagine Commissioner Benson singing this after hearing news of The Airport Meeting and his best teams revolting against his rule.
Imagine him scheming The Project and how destroyed he was when it blew up in his face at the last moment. In an email to Utah State he’d write, “This has been a very emotional day for me — both on the professional and personal side.”
LOL, get bent King Karl! Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da!
“Yo, I’m John Laurens in the place to be Two pints of Sam Adams, but I’m workin’ on three Those redcoats don’t want it with me ‘Cause I will pop chick-a pop these cops till I’m free”
Drinking? Fighting? Reckless courage? Yep, that’s our Wyoming Cowboys. And who else but the Wyoming Cowboys would teach us the 10 Duel Commandments?
Laurens was always looking for a fight and kicked major ass throughout the Revolutionary War and then died in a meaningless battle after the war was over. Kinda like how the Craig Bohl Cowboys tend to put together good teams that lose to the likes of Eastern Michigan, San Jose State, and North Dakota.
Hercules Mulligan • Fresno State Bulldogs and Nevada Wolf Pack
The Project. A clandestine plan hatched by King Karl Benson, BYU president Cecil Samuelson, Utah State President Stan Albrecht, and Fresno State president John Welty. It would allow the WAC to strike back against the traitorous Mountain West and leave them in ruins.
After the Mountain West added Boise State to replace Utah, the WAC had been pushed around for the last time. Their survival plan was to convince BYU to leave the MW, place their Olympic sports in the WAC, and have football go independent with a scheduling agreement with the WAC. In turn, the Mountain West would be mortally wounded with Utah, TCU, and BYU gone. The WAC would now be in a power position and poach schools like San Diego State and UNLV from the Mountain West. How the tables have turned!
Little did they know, Fresno president Welty was playing the role of Hercules Mulligan- a spy behind enemy lines. He warned Mountain West powers know about The Project and used it as leverage to get an invitation to join the Mountain West.
Nevada joined Fresno in the double-cross and also got a Mountain West invite, similar to how Mulligan had a partner in his espionage, a Black Patriot named Cato. Cato served as Mulligan’s slave and was granted unprecedented access to the British as he wasn’t seen as a threat. (Cato wasn’t mentioned in the Hamilton musical.)
Samuel Seabury • Utah StateAggies
Utah State spent most of their WAC days as spineless loyalists for Karl Benson and BYU, similar to the weasely British Loyalist Samuel Seabury. After the Revolutionary War, Seabury was allowed to stay in the United States and actually did some important work with the Episcopal church. Similar to how Utah State was eventually allowed into the Mountain West after The Project blew up in their faces, and have actually been a pretty good conference member in football and men’s basketball.
Charles Lee • San Jose StateSpartans
Charles Lee was put in charge of the Battle of Monmouth and failed miserably. Lack of communication (attack! retreat! attack! retreat!) led to confusion and mass casualties. George Washington would have to take over and clean up Lee’s mess. Lee would then get shot by John Laurens in a duel.
In summation, Lee sucked and brought nothing to the table. The San Jose State of the founding fathers.
Thomas Jefferson • Boise State Broncos
Thomas Jefferson doesn’t show up until the second act, prancing around the stage asking “What did I miss?”. He’s immediately installed as Secretary of State. A charmed life, similar to Boise State’s.
His fellow patriots are a little annoyed. While they were fighting the British in the Revolutionary War (the 9-team MWC fighting for AQ status), Jefferson was off having a great time in Paris (beating up on the hapless WAC).
Jefferson would go on to be the most powerful man in the United States, similar to how Boise State football would become the most powerful team in the Mountain West, and the original members would always resent him.
James Madison • San Diego State Aztecs
In the Hamilton musical, James Madison was portrayed as nothing more than Thomas Jefferson’s side-kick. Like how San Diego State played the role of side-kick when they tried to hitch their wagon to Boise State and join the Big East. Again, San Diego State tried to join the Big East. (I love typing that, it’s so absurd.)
Boise State would eventually renege on their agreement and the Big East was pissed. They sued Boise, requiring them to pay a $5 million exit fee. Boise filed a countersuit, arguing that the Big East they agreed to join no longer existed. It had a chance to get pretty ugly, but the suits were eventually dropped with Boise agreeing to pay a $2.3 million exit fee.
Meanwhile, the Big East made no effort to keep San Diego State in the fold. They were just like, “Nah, we’re good.”
In reality, Madison was actually a very influential figure in American history. He wrote the Bill of Rights, was known as the Father of the Constitution, and served as the fourth POTUS. The real version of Madison is a more fair comparison for the Aztecs. Their football team has won three Mountain West titles and the basketball team has been the most successful MW program by a considerable margin.
Philip Hamilton • UNLV Rebels
I had a hard time coming up with a good comparison for UNLV. Philip Hamilton was Alexander Hamilton’s son and UNLV is 50-115 all-time in the Mountain West, so that makes them the conference’s son? I guess?
Like I said, I had a hard time with UNLV football and I’m reaching here.
The Bullet • New Mexico Lobos
On first look, The Bullet just seems like an extra but she plays an important role in the musical. Everyone The Bullet interacts with dies. Reminds me a bit of the New Mexico athletics in the Mountain West: everything they touches dies.
Rocky Long “steps down” as football coach and goes on to build a juggernaut at San Diego State. Mike Locksley comes next and starts punching coaches, harassing female staff members (allegedly), and losing a shit ton of football games (2-26). Athletic Director Paul Krebs has a scandal of his own, embezzling $64,000 for a golf trip to Scotland for him, his family, and his buddies. He faced five felonies for stealing the money and trying to destroy the evidence. FIVE FELONIES!
They replace Locksley with Bob Davie, a TV announcer who wanted to run the option, but not really. Davie eventually gets suspended over allegations of assaulting players, obstructing a rape allegation, and frequently making racist comments.
Meanwhile, the once proud basketball program becomes a shell of its former self with lots of losing and multiple player suspensions. At one point a suspended player actually sued the university. A remodeled Pit can’t even re-open without fire alarms going off.
I could go on, but you get the point. Everything New Mexico touches dies (like their men’s soccer, beach volleyball, and skiing teams).
Angelica Shuyler • Gonzaga Bulldogs
The true object of our affection. The one that got away. Nothing was more exciting than those couple of days where it looked like Gonzaga basketball was moving to the Mountain West.
“The conversation lasted two minutes Maybe three minutes Everything we said in total agreement It’s a dream and it’s a bit of a dance A bit of a posture, it’s a bit of a stance He’s a bit of a flirt, but I’m ‘a give it a chance”
You’ll never be Satisfied in the West Coast Conference, Gonzaga! Join us!
…and Peggie! • Hawaii Rainbow Warriors
The forgotten Shuyler sister is the forgotten Mountain West team.
The Mountain West consists of 11 schools that compete in 18 NCAA sanctioned sports… and Hawaii!
The Mountain West just signed a new TV contract that will pay each school $4 million a year to televise football and basketball games on CBS and Fox… not Hawaii!
There you have it, the Mountain West as characters from Hamilton. Apologies to Air Force, I couldn’t think of anything for you. The British Navy, I guess?
Florian McCann • Offensive Line • Redshirt Sophomore • Denver, CO
So far: McCann is not only a Colorado RecruitTM, but he’s the best type of Colorado RecruitTM: top football program (Mullen) and no other reported FBS offers (chip on his shoulder!) McCann redshirted his first year in Fort Collins and then saw the field once against UNLV in his Redshirt Freshman season.
What’s next: His recruiting profiles list him as a tackle, but if I remember correctly the plan was for McCann to play center or guard. If that’s the case, playing time might be tough to find in 2020, but you never know with a new staff coming in, everyone has a fresh start.
Brewery nearest to Mullen High School: Boggy Draw Brewery
Strange, I’ve never been to Mullen High School and I didn’t know it was that far west and that far south. I used to work in the area and I also had no idea Boggy Draw Brewery even existed. Was I missing out? Let’s take a look at the Yelp reviews:
Lowest Yelp Review for Boggy Draw Brewery:
This place has been open since 2015 and no one-star reviews yet, pretty good! “The I” thought their beers were “flat and warmish”. Is he describing his beers or my date last Saturday night? HELLO!! ZING!!
(I’m actually married and don’t go on dates, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make an incredible joke like that. It also got me thinking, do people actually go on dates any more during These Uncertain TimesTM? What a terrible time to be single.)
I love how “The I” antagonizes the reader with his last sentence: You may like it, but we won’t be back. Well screw you, “The I”, I do what I want.
Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #39 2019 Toledo, The Two-Hand Touch Game
Final Score: Colorado State 35, Toledo 41
Line: Colorado State +6.5
Venue: Canvas Stadium
When the home-and-home with Toledo was announced in 2016, I wasn’t the biggest fan. Year-in and year-out, Toledo is usually the most dangerous team in the MAC, typically winning 9 games a year and putting up a ton of points. Since we don’t recruit Ohio, what was the point of this series? Wouldn’t a series with a CUSA or Sun Belt team serve as a better opportunity to get us in front of our recruits? (This series is my only critique of Joe Parker’s scheduling record, he’s nailed everything else.)
Anyway, by the time 2019 rolled around, this version of Toledo was a lot less threatening. They would end up going 6-6 and stay home for bowl season. Definitely a game CSU had no business losing.
The game was super frustrating as the effort seemed to be missing on the defensive side of the ball. I call it the Two-Hand Touch Game, because even if we were playing two-hand touch rules, Toledo still would have ran up the score.
Look at this, untouched:
(It gets worse.)
(It gets worse.)
One-hand touch! We’re improving!
Bah, no one-hand touch this time, we’re regressing.
Fortunately, Toledo’s defense was equally as horrendous and huge games from Marvin Kinsey (246 yards, 2 TDs) and Warren Jackson (12 catches, 132 yards, and a TD) kept us in the game.
We also had this near miss Hail Mary right before the half that felt like it encapsulated the entire Mike Bobo era:
Of course he gets tackled at the one because apparently we’re not allowed to have nice things.
That play would foreshadow the end of the game. A late Toledo field goal put CSU down 6 with 31 seconds left in the game. Patrick O’Brien drove the Rams to the Toledo 35, but the drive kinda stalled there. A couple plays later, the Rams are at the Toledo 25 with 2 seconds left. Hail Mary time:
This is a “throw your remote against the wall and take a walk around the block with your hands on top of your head” type of ending. Brutal.
No full replay exists for this game, just a highlight video:
No number 61 on the roster, so we’ll look at the Top 10 touchdowns of 2019. These were really difficult to rank and honestly they could be placed in any order. I reserve the right to change the order any way I see fit.
10. Marvin Kinsey 75 yard run vs Arkansas
We’ve seen some big gainers from Kinsey in this countdown, but none bigger than his 75 yarder against the Razorbacks. On just the second play of the game the Rams were up 7-0 and a half-empty Razorback Stadium was in shock.
The play was made by Left Guard Nouredin Nouili. Take a look at this:
He takes a split second with TJ Storment’s guy, somehow avoids the guy Scott Brooks is blocking into him, goes across the hole and deletes #8 from the play; springing Kinsey for a touchdown. Incredible play by Nouili and he should have been a four year starter for us and it REALLY PISSES ME OFF. If any of our OOC games get corona’d I say we replace it with Nebraska and go kick their ass.
9. Andre Neal 44 yard interception return
With the score tied at 14 in the 2nd quarter, Coach Bobo decided it was the perfect time for a boner in the kicking game so he sent a walk-on freshman onto the field to miss a 51-yard field goal. Typically these types of boners are followed up by an immediate score from the opposing team, but All-World NFL Arm Talent Pretty Boy Quarterback Jordan Love didn’t put enough mustard on his pass and Andre Neal made him pay.
Then all the Utah State quarterbacks gathered around the phone with really concerned looks on their faces, which was funny:
The Rams would follow up the pick-6 with another kicking game boner (delay of game on an extra point attempt, an incredible feat), but would still manage to convert.
8. Warren Jackson 8 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Colorado
If you’re defending Warren Jackson in the red zone, there is zero room for error. One misstep and you’re dead. On this play, Jackson does a good job selling that he’s just going to block for a run play and the moment #1 for Colorado bites, the play is over.
Lol, maybe next time Delrick.
7. Dante Wright 39 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Colorado
Coach Bobo outmaneuvered the CU defense and good ‘ol Delrick knew they were boned from the start:
As color commentator and CSU legend Kelly Stouffer astutely notes, it’s one thing to be in position to make a big play, it’s another thing to actually execute it. Hill throws a perfect ball, getting it over the cornerback’s head and getting it to Wright before the safety can help over the top. The level of difficulty on this play was through the roof but they pulled it off.
Lol, maybe next time Delrick.
6. Dante Wright 41 yard run vs Colorado
DANTE WRIGHT AGAIN! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THIS GUY!??!?!
Fourth down near the 50 yard line always gets the blood pressure up. So it was pretty exciting to see the Rams pick up a big gainer and I just about lost my mind when Wright turned on the jets and took it all the way for six.
I think this is why people get so addicted to college football. Before the game, Wright was just a guy you only know from his 247 Sports profile and his HUDL videos. Two quarters into the first game of the season and you’re now looking at a cornerstone of the offense for the next four years. In college football there is always hope. That true freshman, or that guy who redshirted, or that guy who transferred in; they all have the chance be the next great Ram.
Also, can someone help me out here?
What is up with this sign? It’s pretty glossy, so the guy put some effort into it. What purpose does it serve? Is it some kind of inside joke? What was the halftime show? I’m assuming the marching band? Is this guy the father of someone in the marching band? Why would he make this sign? I’m so confused.
5. Anthony Hawkins 99 yard kickoff return vs UNLV
If you are a regular reader of this blog, you’ve probably picked up on theme that nothing drives me crazier than boners in the kicking game. Whether it’s missed field goals, blocked extra points, penalties on kick returns… they all drive me insane.
The Rams were averaging around 20 yards per kick return going into this game, so you can imagine my shock and elation when Anthony Hawkins took the opening kickoff 99 yards for a touchdown. It was the most unexpected touchdown of the season, as the Rams usually struggled to get kick returns past the 25-yard line.
I’ve watched the replay dozens of times and probably the most impressive part about it is that no one actually does anything all that impressive. There are no pancake blocks or crazy moves by Hawkins; everyone just does what they’re supposed to do and Hawkins goes 99 yards untouched.
I really enjoyed the camera shot of the two fans celebrating with a text book high five. It looked like it was stolen right out of an EA Sports NCAA Football game:
Seriously! Is this real life? It looks exactly like the video game!
In case you were wondering, the last kickoff return for a touchdown was by Kevin Nutt Jr against Fresno State in 2015:
4. Mohamed Kamara 63 yard fumble return vs Air Force
It’s always cool when a play combines a veteran all-time favorite type of guy (Manny Jones) and a young up-and-comer making his first big play (Mohamed Kamara). It’s also cool when a play takes out a decade’s worth of frustration from the howdy doody Air Force Falcons and their triple option.
They finally screwed it up and Manny Jones made them pay. The Rams go up 14-0 and I think we actually have a chance to beat these guys! (Spoiler alert: we didn’t.)
Bonus points for running towards a packed New Belgium Porch. That’s always so cool.
Also, bonus points to the dude who wore a Navy hat to an Air Force game:
3. Warren Jackson 87 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs New Mexico
No one is ever going to accuse Patrick O’Brien of being shy when trying to get the ball to Warren Jackson. He rolls out, guns it into triple coverage and Jackson does the rest. CSU put out a sweet video that’ll explain the touchdown better than I ever could:
2. Trey McBride 69 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Fresno State
No one really knew what to expect coming into this game. The Rams have a history of pulling off wins in Fresno, but the season had been a disappointment to this point. That’s why this touchdown was so important, it set a tone for the game that the Rams were coming in to Bulldog Stadium to get a win.
Also, the play was a spectacular, SportsCenter Top 10 type effort from McBride. When McBride gets taken in the NFL Draft, I guarantee this play will lead off his highlight package. In my head I can already hear that ESPN NFL highlight music (like this song) and Mel Kiper Jr starting in “Trey McBride, Tight End out of Colorado State…” while a video of McBride leaping over Fresno State is playing on the screen.
Anyway, I can’t help but feel bad for #23 on this play. First, he bites on the play-action, allowing McBride to get open. Then to add insult to injury, he chases McBride down and gets hurdled over! This is basically the football equivalent of getting dunked on. I know it’s only the first quarter, but 23 should have just hit the showers at that point and called it a day.
Here’s another video that CSU put out for the touchdown:
Dante Wright 75 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Arkansas
Down 7, back-up quarterback, 3rd-and-13, on the road against an SEC school. This is when you need someone to make a play. Enter true freshman Dante Wright, making the most spectacular play of the season.
Just look at this!
And look at this guy:
“Nice effort!” is what he was saying in front of his wife and kid, I’m sure of it.
So there you go, all the touchdowns of the 2019 season!
No 62 on the roster so lets look at touchdowns 20 through 11. Reminder, if my HTML code is right, the YouTube video should jump ahead to the touchdown:
20. Marvin Kinsey 77 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Western Illinois
Pretty nice way for Hill to pad his stats by throwing it to Kinsey in the flat and letting him do all the work. The Leatherneck defense just kinda lost track of Kinsey and he’s gone. Do the Rams have any RB’s on the roster for the 2020 season that can punish a team like this?
19. Trey McBride 4 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Air Force
The box score might show a simple 4 yard TD pass, but this play earns a bunch of bonus points. First, it’s against the dreaded Air Force Academy. The score put us up 7-0 and allowed us to dream the impossible dream that we might beat this jerks for once. Next, the play was on a 4th down and I love the decision to go for it because why the hell not. And last, there is some poetic justice using a misdirection play against the Academy, the kings of misdirection. This wasn’t just a touchdown, it was a pantsing of their defense. I loved every second of it and I hate the Air Force Academy with every fiber of my being and I can say that again now that July 4th is over.
18. Marcus McElroy 4 yard run vs Fresno State
Not the prettiest touchdown in the world, but an important one. The Bulldogs had just scored to take a 28-24 lead, their first lead of the game. Fresno had all the momentum at this point after weathering an early storm. Instead of lying down, the Rams came right back and took the lead.
Here’s the play that got them into the redzone:
Lol. That Warren Jackson is pretty good.
17. Marvin Kinsey 74 yard run vs Toledo
I love this image:
Kind of a Keystone Cop vibe from a terrible Toledo defense.
While the play is exciting, it loses some points for aesthetics because the stands are empty, the Golden Poms are nowhere to be found, and the band doesn’t seem to into it. It also doesn’t help that the Ram defense decided they’d be playing two-hand touch that evening and our offensive fireworks weren’t enough to come away victorious.
16. Dante Wright 75 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Western Illinois
First play of the game, what a friggin’ play call. I imagine the coaches and players had been working on that all week and to see it executed to perfection must have been pretty exciting. I was still at the south entrance of the stadium going up the stairs when the cannon went off so I missed it!
15. Trey McBride 42 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs New Mexico
Damn, what a block by Kinsey on that one. I love watching #33 on the Lobos on this play. First, he lets McBride run right past him. Then after he knows he’s burnt, he runs with his shoulders bobbing back-and-forth, kind of like a little kid chasing after his big brother who stole his Nintendo Switch.
14. EJ Scott 10 yard pass from Collin Hill vs Western Illinois
This one would rank a lot higher if not for the fumble and the ensuing 10-minute review by the officials. Kind of took all the fun out of it. But it really was a great touchdown, just look at this:
How does Scott score here? Incredible play.
13. Warren Jackson 16 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Boise State
Always impressive seeing your star receiver go over the middle and catch it in traffic. Always nice to see two Boise State defenders get obliterated on the same play. Bonus points for Scott Brooks diving in late and “tackling” Jackson. Never fails to crack me up.
12. Trey McBride 28 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Boise State
I refer to this one as the Bowling Pin touchdown. The play starts with a sweet stiff-arm and ends with McBride knocking down everyone in his path. Watch the replay and watch #48 get a knee to the face. So much carnage on this play, it’s so great. This McBride fella is a freaking beast.
11. Warren Jackson 11 yard pass from Patrick O’Brien vs Fresno State
O’Brien with the classic “throw it to a spot” play. For someone of Jackson’s size to be agile enough to make this kind of adjustment on the ball is a little unfair, right? This play would end up being the game winner in a season where there weren’t many game winners.
The great thing about O’Brien is that he’s not shy about just throwing it in Jackson’s direction and letting him make a play, as we’ll see in tomorrow’s Top 10 Touchdowns of 2019.
(Was that a segue? That’s what real writers do, right?)
Alex Azusenis • Offensive Line • Redshirt Freshman • Powell, Ohio
So far: Azusenis was a three star recruit who picked Colorado State over offers from pretty much every team in the Mid-American Conference. He didn’t see any game action in his redshirt season, but it looks like he saw some weight room action as the official roster shows him going from 285 to 305 pounds of pure, unadulterated strength.
What’s next: It feels like every year there’s a guy who isn’t really talked about much by the fans but becomes a regular on the offensive line. Why couldn’t Azusenis be that guy this year? He was recruited by previous offensive line coach Dave Johnson and I’m 100% on board with Coach Johnson’s ability to find o-line talent in the Midwest. Eddie Herz mentioned in his offensive line preview for the Loveland Herald-Reporter that Azusenis did well in 2019 fall camp, so we have a little evidence to back this theory up. We desperately need some depth at the tackle position and Azusenis is my guess to be that guy!
(Please keep in mind that I know absolutely nothing.)
Brewerynearest to Powell, Ohio: Nocterra Brewing Company
Nocterra. Nocterra… It sounds like a one of those made up words that car companies use to name their vehicles. Experience outdoor luxury in the brand new Nissan Nocterra…
Do you ever sit down and really think about how stupid these car names are? They’re just non-sense words! Elantra… Sentra… Maxima… Integra… Explosiva… Never fails to crack me up.
Lowest Yelp Review for Nocterra:
Almost every bad review for this place mentioned packs of feral children, which I’ve found to be a common complaint for breweries across the nation. If I ever open a brewery, it’ll have a 21+ VIP Lounge. With a ball pit that the kids aren’t allowed to use because kids suck.
Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #40 2015 Utah State, The Upside Down Game
Final Score: Colorado State 18, Utah State 33
Line: Colorado State +6
Venue: Maverick Stadium
I feel like we’ve hit a milestone as this Utah State game is our last loss against a team with a losing record. From here on out it’s moral victories against teams much better than us. Hooray!
Utah State was having a white out. Any time a Utah school has a “white out”, I always laugh a little.
I have a confession to make: I don’t remember anything about this game. I’m not just saying that just so I can mail-in this post and go enjoy my holiday bbq; I honestly don’t remember anything about this game. The game was only broadcast on ESPN3 so there’s a good chance I only watched it on a crappy illegal stream (or not at all).
ESPN put their cameras on the wrong side of the field, which is hilarious:
So I’m almost certain I didn’t watch this game, because I guarantee I would have remembered that and I’d forever know this game as the Upside Down Game.
The Aggies came into the game without their starting QB and backup quarterback Kent Myers took the reigns. Myers didn’t do much through the air, but was able to run for 191 yards on 16 carries.
Okay, I’m re-watching the game and I definitely didn’t watch it in 2015, because there’s no way I’d forget this play:
Anyway, this was one of those games where the Rams would keep it close but never threaten to win.
The Aggies had a ton of talent on defense (Kyler Fackrell, Nick Vigil, Jalen Davis) but would finish the season 6-7 after a loss to Akron in the Potato Bowl.
You can watch the game here if you’re really bored and hate celebrating America:
So far: Brooks picked CSU over reported offers from Air Force, Hawaii, New Mexico, Columbia and others. Once again the combination of offers from service academies, Ivy’s, and Mountain West schools is usually a pretty good indicator that an offensive lineman is going to do well.
Brooks played in one game his true freshman season against Abilene Christian. This is the year before the new redshirt rule was in place, so we blew his redshirt for one game. As an outsider, that seems like an incredibly dumb thing to do but who knows what was happening behind the scenes. Maybe Brooks made it known that he planned on graduating in four years and that’s it? All I know is that Brooks was great last year as our starting center and it’d be a lot cooler if he was a Redshirt Junior going into the season.
What’s next: With a line full of question marks, Brooks anchoring the middle is one of the few things that seems certain. 12 starts and a place on one of the All-MWC teams? Brooks is also an All-Academic guy, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him grad transfer after the season if we wants to play another year.
Brewery nearest to Moorpark, California: Enegren Brewing Company
Enegren has been around since 2010 and focuses on German style beers, which means no IPA’s. I applaud their courage and would love to visit if I ever find myself in Moorpark.
Lowest Yelp Review for Enegren Brewing Company:
Nothing really to report here. Somehow this place has ten pages of four and five star reviews. The worst one I could find just complains about parking. “This place is so popular that I had a hard time finding parking. One star!” Nice review, Sara R.
Ranking Every Game of the Mike Bobo Era, #41 2018 Hawaii, The Surprise Blowout
Final Score: Colorado State 34, Hawaii 43
Line: Colorado State -17
Venue: Canvas Stadium
2017 saw Hawaii finish with a 3-9 record, including a 51-21 loss to CSU on their home turf. So going into the first game of the college football season, Ram fans had to feel pretty good about their chances. Vegas installed the Rams 17-point favorites, making this the worst loss of the Mike Bobo Era in terms of point spread.
The game started with the Rainbows kicker kicking the ball short of the goal line. Instead of taking advantage of a new rule that allowed returners to fair catch the ball from anywhere on the field and take it at the 25, Preston Williams decided to run it back and fumbled. The Rams were also called for holding, so they started at the 15 (fortunately they recovered the fumble). This was the most predictable opening ever. When the new fair catch rule was put in place, it was almost a certainty that CSU wouldn’t take advantage of it.
The Rainbows were nearly unstoppable in the first half, only punting once and racing out to a 23-7 lead. Hawaii QB Cole McDonald had an all-timer with 418 yards on 26-37 passing. He also ran for 96 yards and 2 TD’s. And had white guy dreadlocks. Legendary performance.
Hawaii was leading 37-7 when KJ Carta-Samuels revved up the offense and made a game of it. After making the score 37-20, Coach Bobo called for a two-point conversion and missed it. Should he have gone for two there? Go from 17 to 16, or go from 17 to 15? Most charts will tell you to go for 1 to make it a two score game. Others say to go for 2, like this study from the math nerds at 538.
Either way, the Rams would eventually find themselves down 9 points with 44 seconds left, and they easily could have been down 8 instead. 20/20 hindsight or bad strategy? The Rams would lose 43-34 in a classic “not as close as the score makes it seem” game. Anyone who took the Rams -17 was irate.
There were a couple highlights though. KJ Carta-Samuels set the CSU record for passing yards in a game with 537. Add 5 touchdowns to that and you have a helluva debut.
The game was also the long-awaiting debut for Preston Williams. Anyone who was at the 2017 Spring Game and saw this…
…and had been waiting over a year to see him play in a real game. The wait was even worse as Williams spent a lot of his transfer year suspended from the team and his status was up in the air.
After only seeing that one play from him from the 2017 Green & Gold game, it was crazy to see Williams pull off almost the same exact play in his first real game:
This game also featured a Center going out for a pass, something I had only seen in my co-ed flag football league:
Unfortunately, this game was a sign of things to come for CSU in a disastrous 2018 season. Hawaii would finish a deceptive 8-6 with most of their wins coming against the dregs of the Mountain West. That used to be us!!!
The game is here if you want to watch. I suggest fast-forwarding to the 3rd quarter: